In my Weight Watchers meeting this morning, I spoke to my members about responsibility. I admitted that, after my husband returned from Ireland with FOUR chocolate bars for me from an Irish chocolatier I love, I sat at the computer yesterday and inhaled one. I immediately felt guilty for doing it. Did I really NEED that chocolate bar? Nope. But did I want it? Oh God, yes.
One of my members proceeded to say something like "Don't you just hate when they do that?" meaning, having someone bring you a delicious treat that you then feel obligated to eat?
The first thought that popped into my mind was NO. I wasn't mad or upset that my husband brought something like that home from Ireland. Number one, I asked him to bring me one (one, not four, but that's okay). Number two, just because he brought home four chocolate bars, I DON'T need to eat them if I don't want to.
Something I say to my clients and WW members quite frequently is "who is responsible for what food goes in your mouth?" Can you blame someone else for what YOU are eating? If someone brings an unhealthy yet tasty treat to the office/party/holiday, are they forcing you to eat it?
I've been a Weight Watcher leader for 5 years now. I love my job, and I love my members. Over the years, I've heard so many of them blame their loved ones and peers for bringing junk food into the house, or bringing it to get togethers or holidays. But there comes a time when we need to decide what is really important. Do I eat the garbage, do I give it away, or do I ask for help?
Blame. It's a nasty word. I can't blame my husband for bringing me home the very thing I asked him to. Nor can I blame him for it being shoved in my mouth by my own hand. I take total responsibility for mindlessly eating that chocolate hazelnut caramel crunch bar. As I mentioned, I felt "food guilt" for doing it. But after a few minutes, I decided to give myself a break. It was delicious. I enjoyed it. Now, move on.
The next thing I did was ask my husband if he minded if I gave two of the bars away. He said it was mine to do with what I please. So, the bars are going to my parents.
Lastly, it can be difficult for us to ask for help. Again, over the years I've heard so many of my WW members say they feel powerless when it comes to saying "no thank you" to someone who brings them unhealthy treats. But here is the thing: YOU are in charge of your own journey. It isn't about making others feel happy, or for them to understand your choices. And if we want something bad enough, we should just ask for it. If we have a get together, ask friends to bring a healthy dish to pass, or bring one yourself. It's okay to ask for what we want. Once I started asking for what I needed and wanted, the world opened itself up to me. It was a fabulous revelation.
I challenge you to do the same. Next time your spouse or partner suggests pizza/Asian/ice cream/something unhealthy, suggest something more to your healthy taste. Just ask for help. Because, in the end, it's YOUR responsibility to take care of YOU.