Blasting the (Mommy) Guilt

I want to talk about guilt for a little while.  Would you like to pull up a chair and chat with me?  Please do!

Many of us have that little nag in our subconscious, don't we?  That little voice that says "Hey, you aren't doing ENOUGH," or "Why did you eat THAT?  You are an IDIOT."

I loathe that little nag.  So recently, I've had a bit of a crisis of conscious.  My little peanut will be 20 months tomorrow.  Right up until she was about 18 months, I was pretty happy in my little sheltered world with her, staying home and working part-time for Weight Watchers.  Then something changed.  Once I became certified by NASM to begin my career as a personal trainer, I started to feel (gasp!) the tingling in my limbs to DO MORE.  To work more.  For the first time in many years, I feel the excitement and passion to get out into the world and spread my love for fitness and wellness to my community.  I love that feeling.

However, the other part of me (the Mommy) says "Stay home with your daughter.  This is such an important time in her development and she needs you."

So I struggle.  There is this battle going on inside of me: the feminist and passionate CPT says "You HAVE to have something for you.  Get out there and train those QC women who need your help!" and then the Mommy who says "Nope, your little one only has a few years left before she goes to school.  Stay home with her!"

What is a woman to do?

I know I am not alone in this kind of struggle.  And I'm not alone in feeling guilty.  I want good things for my bub, but I also know I NEED something just for me, that's MINE.

So I sat and thought for a while.  What is the best thing for everyone?  I chatted with my very supportive husband, and he agreed that training clients is too important for me NOT to do it.  If I'm training clients in the evening, he is home to care for our little one.  Violet also goes to daycare two mornings a week.  At first, I felt guilty about having her not with me.  However, this kid LOVES Gaga (her caregiver), who also lives next door to us.  She loves playing with her little friends, snacking on yummies all morning, watching Frozen a zillion times a week, coloring, and having general merriment and EXTREMELY important socialization that I can't give her by myself.  Once she was there every week, I saw how much she loved it and how important it is to HER that she goes.  My Mommy guilt disappeared soon after that.

Mornings she isn't at Gaga's house, but she is here with me, I make sure I get in my workouts without fail.  Staying fit is the lifeblood of my existence.  If I wasn't fit, I couldn't keep up with my family, nor could I claim to be good at what I do as a CPT.  It's crucial I workout EVERY DAY.  Now that she is older, it's getting more difficult to workout with Violet in the room.  As much as I hate doing it, she gets to watch DVD's while I get in my 35 minutes with my weights and yoga mat.  I really struggled with this for a while.  Before she was born, we said "NO SCREEN TIME BEFORE 3 YEARS OLD."  Yeah.  That didn't happen.  But here is the thing, and I needed to remind myself of this: she is HAPPY.  She is healthy.  She's a great eater and sleeper and generally the most incredibly well-adjusted person I know.  Does it matter that she gets a little screen time with Minnie and Mickey and Peppa Pig if it means I get to do something that makes me a better Mom in the long-run?  Nope.  Absolutely not.

So now I bring it back to you.  What is the guilt that runs rampant through you?  And what can you do to blast it out of the water?  Is it food guilt?  Is it not-getting-your-workout-in guilt?  And how do you change it?  Do you have the skills to get past it?

This is one of the reasons WellWomanQC exists.  While I can't help you get rid of the guilt, I can work with you on coping strategies and ideas on how to tell that guilt to take a hike.  Not only do I offer personal training, I also offer Wellness coaching to help you set goals and think of solutions and not problems.  There is a reason I have a Masters in Counseling as well as my certification in PT: I just love helping people!